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Seduction in the Land of Israel
By Ruby Marez
I wouldn’t say that 
I’m a slut, but when I travel abroad I get a little “loose” with the locals. For months I’ll shut myself off to men in my own city to preserve myself for the foreign fling that lies ahead of me. On my flight to Israel on a Birthright Israel trip, I told fellow participants that I signed up for Birthright to do two things: 1) Summit Masada 2) Make out with a soldier.
When Ari first walked on the bus I didn’t notice him. I was too overwhelmed by all the other good looking men in uniform (soldiers from the Israeli Defense Forces that had joined our bus for a few days) to focus on any one of them. But later, I felt someone watching me. When I turned to give my “what the fuck are you staring at” New Yorker look, I felt an intense heat from his gaze and quickly turned away. I then turned back to see what made me react so suddenly. There he was, unapologetically examining me through his Ray-Ban knockoffs. Now, I couldn’t look away. Our eyes tightly locked into each other like a Chinese finger trap. My defensive wall quickly crumbled. I stood there staring right back at him thinking to myself, Oh my God! This guy is hot!
Our trip leader broke us up into small groups and asked each soldier to join a group so we could interview them to learn more about serving in the IDF. Ari confidently strutted over to my group, not breaking eye contact with me and introduced himself. Pen and paper in hand, I wrote down every word of what he said:
“He is a 2nd ranked Lieutenant in the IDF. He was originally from the Soviet Union and moved to Israel when he was nine years old. He has one brother and one sister. He got his degree in chemical engineering. He learned English by watching American movies like The Breakfast Club. His favorite music is hip-hop. His dream travel destination is Hawaii, he went to England once on a class trip and the only thing he remembers about it is the food sucking. His version of Shabbat is going out to a dance club and drinking. He loves watching TV; specifically Prison Break, South Park and occasionally Sex and the City.”
Not only was this guy smokin’ but we had a lot in common! Later on, we talked about which South Park character was most similar to ourselves, and we both said Cartman! It was a match made in heaven.
After knowing each other for a mere eight hours, I already felt that it was time to take our relationship to the next level. Now, normally I am not this easy. Usually before any sexual activity occurs I make guys take me out to dinner, meet my friends, do a blood test, etc.
But in Israel, the ever-present threat of war and terrorism while doing something so commonplace as getting a cup of coffee, makes you want to disregard those rules. I mean, we could have died any second – there wasn’t any time for playing hard-to-get!
We went back to his room at the kibbutz. Two sleeping Americans were on a bunk bed in the room, but I wasn’t going to let that stop us. Ari grabbed my face, pulled me in for a kiss and lifted my body on top of his. A passionate, hormone-driven episode soon followed. My clothes were ripped off me from every direction. It felt like we were electric, setting off sparks, and likely waking up the sleeping Americans. In order to keep it down, and to have some more fun, we promptly moved to the showers. After what felt like hours of good, clean fun, he walked me back to my room at the kibbutz and kissed me gently on the cheek while whispering “Until tomorrow ” in my ear.
Cut to the following evening. Shabbat. After a rowdy group game of “never have I ever,” Ari and I snuck off to fulfill a never-have-I ever sex on the stairs. And not just any stairs, the top of the fire escape stairway in the King David hotel in Jerusalem. Now I always thought the stairs would be a clunky, uncomfortable location to fornicate, and I envisioned losing my balance, falling backwards, cracking open my skull and later having a very difficult time covering up the real reason of how I injured myself to my parents. Staircase sex seemed like something you see in movies: very well choreographed but not possible for your own klutzy, civilian limbs to handle. It just seemed like it would be difficult and painful. However, as I had learned that evening, hotel towels can provide excellent padding for your knees…and your spinal column.
You know that kind of unfortunate sex that seems to plague many American men? Well, Ari knew better. He started with a slow Mediterranean movements. We had our own rhythmic Rumba and he again waited for me to climax…twice, before he even thought about coming to the finish line.
While this was happening, I looked over his shoulder and saw from the staircase windows the Old City of Jerusalem, lit up in a golden glimmer. It seemed as even God was giving us his blessing. At the very lease, he certainly was providing excellent mood lighting for our activities. As I had found out earlier that night, having sex on Shabbat was a mitzvah! Well, we mitzvahed three times that night. I was earning some major points with the big man.
You see, observance of mitzvot gives the promise of living an enlightened and meaningful existence. Which to me means I was not being “slutty” – I was being religious! By some standards, I was practically a saint (even though Jews technically don’t believe in saints) – I was doing what God wanted of me. Or so I told myself.
Now, from an outsider’s perspective, this all might sound exciting and maybe a bit tawdry, but that is not why I write this story. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was being myself and that someone finally appreciated it – the good, crabby, and ugly parts of me. And believe me, there were days on that trip where I was butt ugly. For the first time, I had experienced lust at first sight and had real chemistry with someone. He was the first man I had ever been with who didn’t mind my sarcasm or dark sense of humor. He actually enjoyed it and would reply back with something even darker.
Before him, I felt like there was no one out there who understood me. I didn’t have to tone myself down. He wanted unfiltered, potty-mouthed, sexually adventurous Ruby. I have heard that real love is about loving someone without wanting to change them. Ari accepted me and adored me for who I was; which gave me hope that there is someone else in this world meant for me (hopefully living within a 35 mile radius of me). For that, I have a special place in my heart for him and for Israel.
Photo by el asso wipo, licensed under Creative Commons.
Tags: Birthright, Israel, sex
5 Responses to “Seduction in the Land of Israel”
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Fun story. Might be the first time in history South Park’s Cartman has been an aphrodisiac….
too funny. great story
My birthright trip was composed of 36 women and 4 men. While I wasn’t involved in any of it, I’m sure some of the same was going on there as well with our male Israeli soldiers.
Taglit-Birthright, or more commonly known as Shaglit.
My trip was a similar experience. Screw J-Date, go on Birthright!