Alef: The NEXT Conversation

New Years Resolutions

By Emily Comisar

Only hours remain until the clock strikes midnight on the year 2009 and, just like everyone else, I am left to reflect on what the year has brought and all that I wish to accomplish in 2010.  For me, this year in particular brought with it many changes: the separation from a beloved significant other, a new job, and an apartment of my own.  When the time comes to decide upon my New Years resolution, I have to wonder what else I could (and should) ask of myself in the coming months.  Could I stand to lose five pounds? Sure.  Keep my house cleaner? Definitely.  Call my widowed grandmother more often?  Don’t get my father started.

I’ve always made it a point to never make resolutions about my weight, and cleaning my house from top to bottom sounds exhausting.  I should really call my grandmother more often, but I’m not sure that’s enough to justify the weight of the “New Years Resolution,” something that, as a Jewish person, I have the joy and burden of doing twice a year.  Yes, Rosh Hashanah is already months past and our hearts and minds have moved on to cheerier, less spiritually-taxing holidays, but after all the ups and downs of the last twelve months, I am determined to make both 5770 and 2010 years to remember.

My quest for the perfect resolution has led me, naturally, to my immediate family–the people who know me best and love me despite all my flaws that need correcting.  Unfortunately my brothers, both of whom pulled all-nighters the Friday after Thanksgiving, are drowning in final papers and exams at University and have started screening my calls.  My mother–to her credit–is a newly born small-business owner.  So, although she takes my calls, she has more important things to think about.  My father always provides a listening ear, but his only advice to me for the last six years has been “out nice ‘em.”  I’m not so sure that this applies here.

My friends, on the other hand, are extremely opinionated individuals.  For that I take pride in their presence in my life, but I wonder if certain decisions at this point are better left to me and me alone.  I reflect and refract, think of everything that has happened right-side-up and up-side-down, and wonder where have I been and where am I going.  What do I keep and what do I throw out the window?

Suddenly it occurs to me: Rosh Hashanah, the other white meat.  The timing of the Jewish New Year this September brought me to an unexpected decision mid-calendar year.  After resting on my creative laurels for too many months while pursuing a paycheck with health insurance, I told myself that I was going to step up and really, truly make the effort to bring my writerly aspirations to fruition.  “Is that still important to me, a few months later?” I wonder, and the answer is yes, it absolutely is.  Suddenly the burden of the second New Years Resolution is lifted.  It is not burdensome that I must think like this twice a year as a person whose faith and culture revolve around a second calendar; it is a gift.  I have been given the opportunity to renew my resolution from 90 days ago and enter 2010 reinvigorated and certain of what I want to get out of the coming months.  Who knows, maybe I’ll lose five pounds, clean my apartment, and call my grandmother as well.

Photo by Robbert van der Steeg, licensed under Creative Commons.

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