Alef: The NEXT Conversation

Alef Interviews: The Kvetcher!

We at Alef take our Kvetching seriously, but not nearly as seriously as David Kelsey. David Kelsey is the author of the blog The Kvetcher, which he has maintained for five years. He has been published in numerous Jewish and New York periodicals including the Forward, Heeb, and The Villager. Kelsey has been through numerous incarnations, including baal teshuvah, a Jewschool editor, and Jewcy blogger – none of which worked out. Because of his desire for tikkun olam, Kelsey is currently a substitute weekend waiter at Yonah Schimmel’s Knishery. We talked to David about life, family, and just what makes him “The Kvetcher”:

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First off – Why “The Kvetcher”?

My grandfather, may he rest in peace, used to call the remote control a “kvetcher,” and demand I hand it to him when he didn’t like what was on. I can’t change communal policy just by flipping a switch, but I often wish I could.

So, it sounds like you come from a long line of Kvetchers. Tell us a little more about your family, and how they Kvetch.

My maternal grandmother is from a Forward and Arberter Ring social-democratic family. She married my grandfather, an Eisenhower-loving Republican (“Eisenhower-loving” as in “not a Neocon”). They spent the rest of their lives nitpicking and arguing over whose preferred government representatives were more mentally, morally, and emotionally challenged, and assigning them disparaging, often Yiddish-inflected nicknames. Only a mutual dislike of Arafat—to his credit–united the family. And that may very well be why I’m politically confu…conflicted. I meet Jews who are peaceful and secure in their political party affiliations. I can’t imagine. I have an inkling about how the products of intermarriages must feel among the affiliated

What are your favorite topics to kvetch about? Anything you think you’ve kvetched-to-death?

Well…I’ve kvetched heavily on the haredi vision of theocracy for Israel as espoused by Ohr Somayach, on NCSY’s deceptive recruitment of teens from our public school system through their Jewish “Student” Union (JSU.org), and on our communal pro-amnesty and mass immigration policies set unilaterally by HIAS. Generally, I prefer to focus on positions contrary to the organized Jewish world where the opposition is not—in my opinion–given sufficient airing. Kvetching is an antidote to the Jewish triumphalism often preferred by the Orthodox newspapers and the Federation subsidized periodicals.

What, if any, is the connection between “Jews” and “Kvetching”? Are Jews naturally more prone to complaining?

Kvetching is a favored form of Israelite protest from time immemorial, a stealth resistance that is relatively less lethal than open rebellion. As the Jews complained to Moses right before the sea split, “There weren’t enough graves in Egypt that you brought us out to die in the desert?” Open rebellion is often a path to communal excision. Think Korach or Spinoza. But kvetching is more or less tolerated, provided it isn’t directly against God.

Is Jewish kvetching any different from other type? Is there such thing as uniquely “Jewish” kvetching?

It’s related to Jewish humor. Jews are a sarcastic people. We are not a violent people, but when it comes to verbal excess, we’re the worst offenders. We’re very serious about it. For instance, when I published a first-rate kvetch for Jewschool, other writers there would congratulate me by saying it made them “saddened” or “disappointed,” and suggesting that I “should apologize.” Blogging and social networking are critical tools for the craft of kvetching, both because of the feedback mechanism, and the competitive nature of the outlet.

Will you ever stop kvetching?

To live is to kvetch. That’s why old people kvetch so much. They are praising God that they are still alive.

Where do you see the future of kvetching?

Jewish demographics are miserable, and yet… I’m bullish on kvetching. Particularly since the Orthodox are growing the most, and they are the least willing to discuss problems in their community’s own periodicals (with the exception of The Jewish Star), I think the future is quite bright for kvetching.

-Alef

Read more posts from Issue #14: Why We Kvetch.

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