Alef: The NEXT Conversation
Weekly Pita 8/19/2011
Full Pita this week, what a newsy one.
1. Robby Gringras made a list for The Arty Semite of songs to go with the tent protests in Israel. His top 5 are Lo Frayerim by HaDag Nachash, Millions by Etti Ankri, Everyone’s Talking About Peace by Muki, Rolled Up in a Newspaper by Teapacks, and I Believe by HaDag Nachash.
2. American Jews may struggle with their Jewish identity, but this week the Wall Street Journal shed a little light on the existential questions that the Jewish of Kaifeng, China are facing.
3. This Monday, The Jerusalem Post reported on a different kind of Birthright: Birthright Armenia.
4. And finally, Mazal Tov to Erika Davis! Erika, who once wrote for Alef about being Black, Gay, and converting to Judaism, blogged on Jewcy this week about her conversion ceremony.
Pita photo by VirtualErn, licensed under Creative Commons.
Changing the Face of Judaism/Judaism’s Changing Face
By Erika Davis
This post originally appeared on Erika’s Blog, Black, Gay, and Jewish: A Gay, Black Woman’s Discovery of Her Jewish Self.
A few conversion classes ago the rabbi asked how we thought we, a room full of Jews-to-be, would change Judaism. We all gave answers and today, for some reason, two weeks later I’m still thinking about it. As converts, we are changing Judaism and as a result the “face” of Judaism will be forever changed. Things that I like, foods that I like, music I enjoy will inevitably become Jewish Things, Jewish Food, Jewish Music.
As a black woman, that fact seems clearer, or more obvious, but is it? When I think of my born-Jewish friends I think they all are making changes to Judaism in their own way. One of my friends is in love with a Catholic man who loves being Catholic. Whenever I see him lately, it is at Shabbat service and he’s wearing a kippah, clapping, singing, chanting. He’s there because he loves her and if they get married they will change what Judaism means. Their children would be Jews because their mother is a Jew but they’d be living in a multi-faith family weaving different traditions into one another-forever changing the fabric of Judaism.
I have another friend who is a born Jew who’s a lesbian (truth be told, I’ve got a lot of lesbian Jewish friends) and we’re all changing the structure of the Jewish family. When two Jewish women make the decision to spend their lives together and create a family together that family will be Jewish-as both mothers are Jews-but that Jewish family is “different” than what the mind thinks of as a Jewish family. The family may be secular or observant but that lesbian (or gay) family changes the face of Judaism.
When Jews adopt children from China, Korea, or black boys and girls those children will be raised as Jews and hopefully they will raise their children as Jews and then the spectrum of color in the Jewish religion in the US would be as varied as the faces of Christians and Muslims.
I always struggle with the concept of the Jewish race because I’m a religious Jew. When emerge from the mikvah as a Jew and identify with all Jewish people my racial make up will still be black. I’m learning, as I visit synagogues and talk with other black Jews or Jews of Color, that in the US the picture that comes to mind when one says Jew is European. Even when one says Sephardic Jew, the image isn’t one of a black face, or even an Asian face when there are many black Jews and Asian Jews-born and converted.
Part of the reason I want to go to Israel so badly is to see what the faces of non-American Jews look like there. Even now, when I see an Orthodox Jew of color walking down the streets of Ditmas Park or Midwood I’m shocked, in awe, and I’ll totally admit I’m captivated. I actually tried to stop a woman on Coney Island Avenue late summer to chat her up. She thought I was crazy, of course, and brushed passed me and what could I have expected from her? For her to chat with a woman who was her same color but definitely not of the same faith. I was wearing pants and most definitely sporting a low-cut v-neck shirt, she was frum.
Before I made the formal commitment to going through a conversion I attended a few different synagogues in Manhattan. I was incredibly nervous. I was sure that I’d be the only person of color in the room. I was sure that everyone would turn around a look at me, as if a spot light had shone on me. I was sure that I’d be completely lost. When I walked into the first synagogue some people looked up, most did not and I was completely lost. Even now when I enter a new synagogue I get annoyed at the people who look at me, and do not talk to me. I want to say, “If you have a question, ask” Other times I think, why should they look and stare? I have walked into synagogues where no one seems to notice me and I get paranoid that they’re trying to avoid looking at me and become incensed that they aren’t seeing my blackness.
There was a time when, to be PC, people would say “I don’t see race, I see the person.” That sentiment irked me, and still does today, because I need you to see my race. I need you to see that I am a black woman and try to understand what that means. If you don’t see my race then you don’t see who I am as a person. As a Black Jew, I struggle with identifying as such. Yet, I am a black Jew and I need you to see that the two can be one. I may be a convert but my future children will be just a Jews who are black.
In the end all of us are changing Judaism’s face. We add to it and take away from it what we will, at the same time strengthening it and dare I say, sometimes weakening it? I like to think that I’m bringing to Judaism my years of Christianity, however faulty they were. I’m bringing my love of Southern cooking and what it means to bring in a New Year (with black eyes and collard greens) I’m bringing my love of singing, clapping, and praising God in a way that brings a “joyful noise”. I’m bringing my questions and doubt, most of all, just me.
This month in Sh’ma, there are great articles on the definitions of Jews along with a beautiful photo essay on what a Jew looks like. I love meeting Jews of Color and born Jews here and in my life. It’s a blessing and joy to know that there are so many of us, small threads, being woven into the larger fabric that is Judaism. I can only hope that our diversity, our ethnicity, and our non-Jewish paths can only enrich the Jewish experience now and in the future.
Photo by Zeevveez, licensed under Creative Commons.
La Mishpacha
By Violeta Flemenbaum
“Borei pri, ya lo comi” which translates to “Borei pri, I ate it”, and so we begin to eat our Shabbat dinner. My husband always says this at the end of Ha-motzi. While some people may find this strange, we don’t! After all, Ari and I grew up with Spanish as our first language. He’s the son of Ashkenazi Jews from Colombia and I’m the daughter of Catholics from Mexico.
It seemed only natural that we gravitated toward each other and eventually married. We had so much in common: being made fun of at school for being Hispanic (Ari went to orthodox Jewish schools while I attended Catholic schools) and we both grew up in households where Spanish along with heavily accented English was spoken. I was already on the path to conversion when I met Ari but that’s a story for another day. Eventually we married and are the proud parents of 3 amazing children.
Our Latino upbringing infused a respect for G-d and family that my friends who are not the children of immigrants have a hard time understanding. For example, if either of our parents invites us to dinner at the last minute, we are obligated to join them despite any other plans that we have already made. Latino parents, regardless of what religion they practice, always stress the commandment “Honor thy mother and thy father.” They practically beat it into their children’s mentality. When it comes to G-d, you are expected to follow the rules. When I converted, I had no problem with kashrut or mikvah because in my heart I felt it was the right thing to do.
When Ari and I started our own family, the first thing on our list was to find a name for our son that worked well in Hebrew, Spanish, and English so we named him Gabriel. Next came Natalie (I know, I know but I just couldn’t pass up this exquisite name). We call her Tali the majority of the time. Then came our precious Daniela.
If you come to our house around any mealtime, you’re likely to find us having lox and bagels with huevos rancheros, or brisket with a side of tortillas. For Shavuot I like to make “pastel de tres leches” (three milks cake) which is a common dessert in Latin countries. You’re also likely to hear Fortuna and the New Orleans Klezmer All-stars on our CD player. Our kids are well aware of their rich cultural heritage and they will proudly exclaim that they are “Hebrew-Spanish.” Is our family Jewishness a little different than what you’d might expect? Sure, but we wouldn’t have it any other way! L’Chaim and Salud from our familia to yours.
Photos by cbertel and grongar, licensed under Creative Commons.
Half-and-Half
By Meredith Druss
Sitting on the beach with my parents and sister this weekend, I asked my mother about her experiences being a Taiwanese woman who had converted to Judaism and raised two daughters Jewishly. My mother’s answers mirrored many of the feelings I have: “People are curious and pay me more attention when they see me in a Jewish space,” and “often I’m asked to explain myself but when I say I married a Jewish man and converted, they’re fine with that.” In my personal favorite of her responses she said, “everyone is welcoming, they see my energy and enthusiasm, and are happy to see me so involved.”
Together, riding the high of how open and welcoming Judaism is for us converts and half-Asians, we weren’t prepared for my dad’s question:
“If you were dating an Orthodox boy and he asked that you convert under Orthodoxy before marrying him, would you do it?”
Immediately, my mind reverted to my impertinent ten-year-old self who used to sass mistaken pure-breds who dared to call me a “half-Asian, half-Jewish girl.”
“I’m half-Asian, full-Jewish,” I’d retort, proud to educate on the difference between ethnicity and religion.
But am I really?
Having an Asian mother means it’s doubtful that my maternal line is Jewish through-and-through. While there are some Jewish communities in China (the Kaifeng Jews), Wandy Wang wasn’t from one, and to some, I realize, her Conservative conversion with intent to marry my father doesn’t cut it. So if mom’s not Jewish, then neither are the kids.
Bam.
What do you say when your own father asks if you will admit that you’re not really Jewish in order to marry your hypothetical Orthodox future-husband?
A fighter by nature, I laid it into him.
“It’s an affront to my identity! How dare anyone question my Judaism, do people question if you’re actually from Caucasia?! If this hypothetical fiancé won’t marry me unless I convert, what’s he doing dating non-Jews in the first place?”
My mother also took it personally.
“Judaism is a way of living.”
She argued that if I knew my mother to be Jewish, and lived Jewishly – the following of tradition, the observance of ritual, the commitment to certain beliefs – then I was already Jewish. Judaism isn’t something that someone can take a DNA test to determine. It doesn’t show in bone structure or the face.
“If Meredith continues to do all that, why would she have to convert?”
I affirmed my mother, “Should I be asking proof from my potential Jewish suitors that their maternal ancestors are Jewish or Orthodox-converted all the way up to the matriarch Sarah?”
I didn’t really answer the question. Defensively, I said “no” to my father only to stop the conversation. Sure, if it made things easier, why wouldn’t I convert to Orthodoxy? But then, would converting mean that I’d be acknowledging that I am not a Jew now. Who’s the one that needs to compromise here?
The greater question in all of this is that of religion vs. ethnicity. Is Judaism my ethnicity, a way of life and a group of people I happen to have traditions and beliefs in common with; or is it my religion, the way I service and worship G-d? In modern day terminology, we throw around the phrase “cultural Jew” to identify those of us that are members of the Tribe but don’t follow strict religious observance. Then, of course, there are religious Jews. Somewhere along the line, you can’t be a cultural Jew if your mother/grandmother/great-grandmother, etc. was not recognized as a religious Jew in her conversion….If I’m somewhere in the middle (a cultural Jew who believes and worships G-d and follows moderate observance levels), what’s my new categorization now? Half-Asian-Half-Ethnic-Jew-Three-Quarters-Religious Jew (…but only if you approve of Conservative conversions)?
Let me tell you, I can’t wait for the day when I can say, “I’m Jewish and I’m Asian” and no one will blink an eye.
Photo by Beige Alert, licensed under Creative Commons.
Read more posts from issue #16: Diverse Jews
Alef Profiles: Y-Love
By now, most of us aren’t strangers to Jewish hip-hop. Take one look at Yitz Jordan and you might not expect him to be a member of the tribe, but this convert to Orthodox Judaism is making his mark by tapping into his adopted culture and putting an interesting twist on a musical tradition. Not on your radar yet? Take a look at an interview with Y-Love (Yitz Jordan’s stage name) to learn about how this Jew-by-choice-of-color found his way into the American Jewish community to become one of the many voices representing the diversity of the Jewish people.
You can find Y-Love now in Punk Jews, the documentary series about individuals who express their Jewish culture in some pretty unconventional ways.
Punk Jews from Jesse Zook Mann on Vimeo.
“I think ‘Punk Jews’ is a facet of perhaps the most significant movement in Judaism in the past 100 years, that is, a generation of Jews disillusioned with the Judaism they see in their communities but determined to maintain a connection to the Jewish nation, tradition, and Judaism. ”Punk Jews” is a documentary about a movement which is seeking to rebrand G-d and Judaism in the eyes of the future generations of Jews, a movement which I’m very happy to be a part of. I hope that this generation sees the end of disillusioned people “leaving Judaism” and the beginning of people redefining and maintaining their own connections to it.” – Yitz Jordan aka Y-Love
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