Alef: The NEXT Conversation
Under Pressure?
Earlier this week, we posted an essay about how one Jewish girl’s parents affected her career choice. Now Alef wants to turn the tables on you.
Feeling pressure from your parents, or is the icon of the ‘overbearing Jewish mother’ simply an urban legend?
…
Read more posts from Issue #10: “Geniushood.”
Photo by Rennett Stowe, licensed under Creative Commons.
Tags: intelligence, jew, jewish, mother, Parents, pressure
4 Responses to “Under Pressure?”
Leave a Reply
Follow Us
2009. Alef: The NEXT Conversation All rights reserved.
Home |
About |
Contact Us
URBAN LEGEND. Both my parents, while overbearing in many ways, only ever wanted me to follow my bliss. I was the one who put the academic pressure on myself.
It’s certainly a mix with my folks: they want me to follow my heart and be happy, as long as my happiness leads to a prosperous life and respected career. No pressure
Pressure from my mom and grandmother through most of my life, but very little from my dad. At the same time, the pressure was often constructive and not necessarily overbearing. What I found most interesting is that, despite the fact that no one in my family was ever such a stellar student and no one had even graduated college, they still expected these big things from me, like it was just a given that I should excel even though I didn’t really have familial examples of what that meant.
I should say though, to her credit, my mom did finally get her BA in 2008.
Professionally, same thing, except “success” to my mom and grandmother has often meant making the most money you can make and being in a “good position” rather than any sort of intangible like “I’m happy” or “I’m helping people” or “this is fun.” They’ve come around though, and understand a little better that success can be any number of things, and as long as that “I’m happy” part is in the equation, they shouldn’t really have to worry about me.
I definitely don’t think I have the traditional overbearing Jewish mother, but that’s not to say I didn’t have pressures growing up. My parents always seemed to stress different things (from each other) when it came to academics (though, honestly, I didn’t need much extrinsic pressure to excel).
My mom (the generalist and valedictorian of University of Texas, though she was a math major!) always pushed me to excel at EVERYTHING (shocker, I know). My dad (the specialist who almost failed out of his ivy league school because he found his passion and stopped going to class) always pushed me to excel at what my talents are.
And, I still haven’t figured out the right way to go and it’s something that I struggle with… do I focus on what I know I’m good at and leave the rest alone? Or do I continue to work at those other things and build myself out as more well-rounded?
If anyone knows the “right” answer, please share the wealth.