Alef: The NEXT Conversation

Gay Travel Hot Spot

By Josh Furman

Israel has become known as a gay travel hot spot in the last few years, but it has been a personal gay destination for me since I was 15 years old. Although tourism companies have only recently started offering “gay themed” tours of Israel, there has been something very gay about the holy land for me for quite some time now.

I first went to Israel with a youth group. At this point in my life, I was pretty clueless when it came to sex. I never went to Jewish summer camp, and didn’t have years of experience of Jewish hook-ups like many of my peers did.

It was in Israel that I got my first crush, and while it wasn’t on another man, it was probably the gayest crush I have ever had. I was infatuated with the madricha (guide) on another bus, and I finally built up the courage to show her I was interested. Thinking that the best way to impress her would be to match my clothes to her red hair, I chose just the right outfit – an orange hat, orange shirt, and shorts with orange accents.

It gets worse. During the next stage of the courting I gave her a stuffed hippo. Looking back, this might have been the first sign that I would never be a ladies’ man, because you just don’t give a girl an animal known for being overweight.

This won’t be a shock to anyone, but she wasn’t my bashert. She wasn’t impressed by my orange ensemble or strange gifts, and our relationship quickly fizzled. I’d like to think that she saved the hippo and looked at it fondly, but I would be surprised if it made it past a trip to Goodwill. We saw each other a couple other times on the trip, but I quickly became shy and avoided actual communication. It was awkward. Although my ability to garner paper plates and construction paper into elaborate Shabbat decorations might have impressed some, I quickly took the hint that she wasn’t the type to look for such skills in a mate.

Years later, I was back in Israel, this time with a solid awareness that I was gay. Fortunately for Jewish continuity, I have always been attracted to dark curly hair and brown eyes – stereotypically Jewish looking guys. Israel became a candy shop, and I’ll admit that I had my fair share of olive-skinned encounters, and if it wasn’t for the whole fact that I was gay, I would definitely have helped to increase the population of Israel. Outside of my first crush on the madricha, Israel has been a place where I have experienced the multiple facets and challenges of being a gay man. In the U.S. I am limited in the number of eligible gay Jews who I encounter, but in Israel I have been able to tackle my opinions on love and what I value in a relationship.

Objectively speaking, Israel is one of the world’s most progressive countries in terms of legal rights granted towards the GLBT community. But by no means is Israel a perfect society, and I will be the first to admit that parts of Israeli society are run according to Jewish laws that sometimes come into conflict with homosexuality. But Israel has also been a place that has helped me embrace both my Judaism and my homosexuality. My experiences with Judaism and homosexuality in Israel have been diverse: I volunteered with the GLBT community at Jerusalem Open House and dressed in drag (my first and only experience doing so) while acting out the Book of Ruth at Pardes in Jerusalem.

I hope Israel will continue to be a formative place in shaping my identity, because when I’m there, I’m both proudly gay and proudly Jewish. It’s fitting that God used the rainbow as a symbol of a covenant with the Jewish people in the Torah, and that the rainbow is also used as a symbol for the GLBT community. In some ways, going to Israel is my own personal version of the rainbow covenant.

Photo by victoriapeckham, licensed under Creative Commons.

Read more posts from the Gay Pride issue.

Tags: birthright israel, gay, GLBT, Israel, love

Posted by Sarah, Wednesday, June 9th, 2010, 6:00 pm, Gay Pride.