Alef: The NEXT Conversation

Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh YES!

by Lisa Keys

Years ago, I was talking with an acquaintance who was planning a weekend conference for a Jewish youth organization. “Do you observe Shabbat?” I asked him. He looked at me, silent for a moment. “We say ‘yes’ to all the ‘yeses,’” he replied.

I smiled at the response, and a decade later I still do. What he meant is he doesn’t view Shabbat as a series of restrictions. Instead of Shabbat being a period filled with things he shouldn’t do—go shopping, for example, or have lunch at his favorite Thai restaurant—he chose to look at all the things he could do, precisely because it was Shabbat. When it came to planning the conference, instead of enforcing a we-don’t-use-the-telephone-on-Shabbat rule, it became: yes, we enjoy each other’s company, face-to-face, in real time.

That tiny shift in perspective makes a world of difference. There’s something incredible that happens when you flip a “no” into a “yes.” (Not in some cheesy, Jim Carrey movie kind of way, where a simple-minded man just can’t say no to anything and all-out hilarity ensues.) The idea isn’t exactly new, even if recently written tomes on the power of positive thinking could easily fill the library at a large state school. The theory goes something like this: “yes!” opens us to the possibilities in the world. By saying “yes” to opportunities and challenges that come our way, we open ourselves to new experiences, new friendships, and even, some say, the capacity to get rich. Plus, as a survivor of any tragedy can attest, a simple “yes” can propel us through life’s darkest hours.

But you don’t have to take some Oprah-approved guru’s word for it. That three-letter word is so powerful that legend claims it launched one of the greatest romances of modern times—the love affair between John Lennon and Yoko Ono. The two first met at a gallery in London where Yoko, an established artist known for her positivity and interactivity, was showing her work. One of the pieces invited attendees to climb a ladder, which John did. He then saw on the ceiling a small placard with a tiny, single-word inscription on it: “yes!”

That, John later said, is what piqued his interest. Had it been “no,” “maybe,” or something random like “pastrami,” he wouldn’t have given it—or Yoko—another thought. But that little “yes” is what eventually brought the world bedins, “Give Peace a Chance,” and Sean Lennon. (Fine—insert a knock about Yoko breaking up the Beatles, if you must, but I don’t believe it.)

Of course, our lives are filled with “nos”—saying “no” is quicker, easier, and the simplest answer when we’re faced with doubts. Shabbat, too, suffers from its outward appearance as being a day of “no.” It’s often described by its restrictions: we can’t drive, we can’t spend money, we can’t email. In our busy world, where we’re plugged in everywhere we go, are expected to be reachable at all hours, and have too much to do and not enough hours in the day, all those restrictions spur many of us to reject the idea of Shabbat altogether—who has time for it?

Instead of focusing on the “nos,” I challenge you to look at Shabbat as a day of “yes.” Don’t think of the things you can’t or shouldn’t do—think of the things you can and want to do. After all, it’s a day that stands apart from the rest—so go ahead and treat Shabbat as something special, and take a break from your everyday routine. For example: Instead of texting your neighbor that you should “get together sometime,” actually drop by.

Instead of zoning out to the latest “Road Rules/Real World Challenge” marathon on MTV, say “yes” to the pile of New Yorker magazines lying next to your bed that you’ve been meaning—really!—to read. Instead of hitting the hippest spot in town for brunch (and waiting in line 40 minutes, and overpaying for bloody marys, and screaming over the too-loud-for-morning music), have some friends over and actually enjoy each other’s company.

As for me, instead of running errands, mopping my floors, and the half-million other things I should be doing in my “free time,” this Shabbat I will lie down and take a nap. Oh, yes.

What will you say “yes” to this Shabbat?

Read more posts from Issue 18: Friday Night Lights.

Photo by Sir George Martinn licenced under Creative Commons.

This piece originally appeared in the Shabbox, as part of the NEXT Shabbat program.

Tags: Shabbat

Posted by Sarah, Thursday, August 5th, 2010, 11:42 am, Friday Night Lights.