Alef: The NEXT Conversation

Keeping Shabbat

By Ari Averbach

I grew up celebrating Shabbat. Every Friday, my grandparents would come over in the afternoon so we could spend some time together before sundown. Together we would watch Jeopardy before my dad came home from work. I remember my grandparents loved to yell at the contestants; my grandmother was almost certain they could all hear her.

Sometimes we would have other special guests around our massive dining room table. The whole family took part in making the meal meaningful: My mom would make the best challah and prepare amazing food, my siblings and I would make seating cards and put on our nice clothes, and my dad would bring home flowers. Together, we would say the blessings and enjoy an evening of food, family, and friends.

One day my mom asked me, “Are you going to continue these traditions?”

I replied, “Of course! When I have children, I will make sure that…”

My mom cut me off. She told me that I didn’t need to wait until I had children, that I could start celebrating on my own in college and continue in my adult life as well. Until then, I never thought of Shabbat as something you do without your family.

On my own, I would try to welcome Shabbat in a special way. Only recently have I been doing it more regularly and consistently. Last Friday night, my girlfriend and I did not have a Shabbat dinner to attend, yet we spruced up what would otherwise have been a quiet meal together.

She lit and said the blessing over beautiful candles her mother brought her from Tzfat. We poured some wine, made the bracha, and drank. Coincidentally, her aunt helped her make her first challah that morning, so we had two delicious and beautifully braided breads. The evening was perfect, and for the first time, I really felt like I was fulfilling the hope of my parents to carry on such a special family tradition.

Regardless of my devotion to Judaism, the idea of sanctifying a Friday night always seems right to me. We constantly live plugged in. We are always reachable, doing business and relentlessly making plans. While we are with one person, we are texting another to see what is next. Now, more than ever, I find Shabbat to be so meaningful. For six days we are dealing with the outside world, being pulled in every direction. On the seventh day, we retreat, realign and reassess.

With our small Shabbat last week, it made me hopeful that I could continue this tradition with people I love, just as my mom lit candles with us every week, and her mother before her and generations of my family past.

I love that Shabbat has never been an obligation, but a special privilege that was handed to me that I also hope to pass to my children. And I’m thankful that now my TiVo records Jeopardy on Friday nights so that I can catch up on Sunday, shouting the answers at the screen.

Read more posts from Issue 18: Friday Night Lights.

Tags: Israel, Shabbat

Posted by Sarah, Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010, 4:45 pm, Friday Night Lights.